This morning while I was getting myself and my children put together for the day, I was listening to the October 2015 LDS General Conference. I chose to listen to Behold Thy Mother which was given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (one of my most favorite apostles) after Hubby T encouraged me to do so. It lifted my spirit. Following Elder Holland, Elder Bradley D. Foster spoke. His words moved me.
"We are engaged in a battle with the world. In the past, the world competed for our children's energy and time. Today, it fights for their identity and mind."
That is the opening sentence of his address. So true, right?
He goes on to talk about the role of parents and the importance of Elder Russel M. Nelson's counsel to be engaged in "intentional parenting". (I'm studying intentional parenting right now-amazing concept!) He talks about the hope and direction the Gospel brings to parents and families. There is hope. There is a way. I know that, but we must have hope and follow the path. Sounds easy enough though we know it's not always so.
He speaks of the Savior and his love of children. His love for us, because we are his and our children were his before they were ours. He makes mention of words and how they change or how the message isn't received in the way we intended because of inability to understand the vocabulary or a simple misunderstanding. Therefore setting the stage for the crowning message of his talk (at least for me), we have to do more as parents than simply talk. We must teach. Actively. It's never to early to start and never to late to begin.
Elder Foster tells a story of a young man who was preparing to serve a mission whom he interviewed while serving as Stake President. The young man was a good man. He answered the questions perfectly and was truly converted to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Elder Foster asked him, "Pablo, who was it that helped you come to this point in your life standing so uprightly before the Lord?" ..."My Dad."
Pablo went on to explain how his father taught him. And his way of instruction touched my heart and motivated me to adjust the way I approach and teach my own children.
He said, "When I was nine, my dad took me aside and said, 'Pablo, I was nine once too. Here are some things you may come across. You'll see people cheating in school. You might be around people who swear. You'll probably have days when you don't want to go to church. Now, when these things happen-or anything else that troubles you-I want you to come and talk to me and I'll help you get through them and then I'll tell you what comes next."
He and his father continued to have these conversations throughout his life which truly taught and prepared him for the things he encountered and was required to navigate as a child, adolescent, and adult. I want to be that kind of parent.
I want to be a mother who, like Elder Holland describes, is there with my children as they encounter difficulties. Who doesn't doubt or lose faith. One who believes in them and stands firmly by to help carry a burden and lift a broken spirit. Who sees the joy in motherhood and finds reason to rejoice on even the most difficult days because Jesus Christ is our Savior and we are a forever family.
I want to be a mother who effectively teaches. A parent who is not necessarily a friend, but who they can trust, rely on, and rest knowing their best interest is at heart when they receive counsel from me.
I've had some pretty epic fail days as a mother. I've not been the best I could be on many occasions in my life. There have been times when I felt like I'd blown it and there was no fixing.
Elder Foster addresses that concern too. He felt like his fathering efforts were less than ideal as he reflected on his conversation with Pablo. He wondered if it was too late for his grown children and grandchildren who lived far from him. But it wasn't. He went home and called his children beginning with the oldest and said, "I was 31 once...." and went on to tell them about the things they may face and then added his sincere desire to be a part of their lives and a helping hand while not being in the middle of their business. He wanted to be a father. A teacher. A grandfather. His heart was in the right place. He wanted to be there for them because they are his forever and he truly loves them.
And so it is for me. I love these sweet children of mine more than words could express. We've encountered some difficulties along the way in our parenting journey. We've been less than ideal. And while they are not grown, I have wondered from time to time if I've missed valuable opportunities to teach. Sure, I have. But it's not too late. It is never too late to show concern, care, and love for those who matter most. It's never too early either.
You can read Elder Foster's talk here
and Elder Holland's is here
Originally written: 1/26/2016